Chasing Sunrise

Chasing Sunrise

Night music thrums out the
Window of the car next to me at the stoplight and I
Risk a glance over to see who dares break the 2am
Silence with rap beats and synthesized drums.
A teenager stares back at me, his bandana and
Long white t-shirt a useless defense against the same
Restlessness in his eyes that I see daily in the mirror.
I nod as the light changes and drive straight while he turns, towards
The rest of his life.
Heading east with no straight destination except
To outrun what is left of the night and find myself a place
To bring in the new day without the same old thoughts.
Next block over I see the young ones tumbling out of a bar as the neon
Sign turns off. They stand blinking in the starlight, wondering where to
Go next, what party to hit, what coffee shop to invade.
A girl leans over and takes off her high-heeled strappy sandals and
Smiles at the boy who watched her bend, and hands him her shoes.
Driving by a cemetery now as I leave the city behind, the tombstones stand
Like weathered beacons. "This way" they seem to say, as if pointing me home.
The tallest of them like a pyramid and the smallest missing the lamb from it's top.
I slow down going by, fearing to run into ghosts of my past but welcoming them as well.
The road is showing some light at the far horizon now and I feel a second wind as
I accelerate, pushing my truck due east, chasing, always chasing the light
Keeping the dark behind me where it belongs.
Further along now and the road gets bumpier, the traffic lights little more than
Four-way stops and I run the next red carelessly, knowing that no one is going to
Be coming north or south, not now, not at this hour.
The witching hour is supposed to be at midnight and when I think of where I was
At that time four hours ago maybe it's true; magic and moonlight were certainly
Working on me and yet, now
The world is holding it's breath, taking a pause before the next great event.
I hear the birds start to waken and with my window down and the summer breeze teasing
My hair I can feel that this hour..now..is the real witching hour.
Still I drive, pushing the last quarter tank of gas and passing the run-down 24 hour gas station,,,I don't have time to waste.
Eventually the road becomes dirt and begins to climb. I push my hair out of my eyes and
Shift into second gear. The truck groans as it powers up the hill and I show it no mercy.
"Come on come on" I urge and in response the engine revs and growls.
The time is close I feel a stirring in the pit of my stomach and the sky is gone from black to periwinkle, with a full moon on one side and a few stars hanging on to see the show.
I crest the hill and stop the truck. The engine sighs in relief as I turn it off and get out, my feet bare in the dewy grass that gets the bottom of my jeans damp.
I leave footprints as I walk the last dozen steps to the top of the hill and sit on the rock at the very peak…I can gaze down from here at the comings and goings but at this minute
I am focused on the horizon and the lightshow that is coming.
Anticipation grows and the birds are singing louder, the stars twinkle and fade, and the moon stares down on me with a benevolence that rivals a mother looking at her newborn babe.
At once the world goes silent as one, two, three rays of light begin to rise from the horizon like a sleeper stretching at first awakening.
My breath catches and I dig my toes into the dewy grass, my hands clasped around my knees. More light now, coming faster and before I know it the sun is risen and I am
Shading my dark-trained eyes. I feel warmth on my skin as I bathed at last
In the blessing of a new day and all the tears I have cried are dried up and all the noise
Of life in chaos is silenced for one blessed moment.
A collective gasp from the world and then all is normal again. The birds sing and a butterfly passes over my head. I hear the ticking from my truck as the engine cools and
I realize I am thirsty and have not had anything to drink since the beer at eleven.
I am not reluctant to leave, I have seen what I came to see and now as I turn around due west, back towards the world and the noise and the confusion that is life as I know it, I know that I have found reprieve for one last day.
The engine rattles as I turn it over and I wonder if they sell coffee at the gas station.